Evan will be 7 months on Thursday!  I can't believe it!  He's gotten so big.  I found out that with Carters Clothing it's 12 months sizing.  With other brands it's 18 months, minus one brand called "little rebels."  We have an overalls outfit for him from that brand but it's rather big.  He's outgrowing his 6-12 months shoes and I bought him size 4 soled shoes so he'll be wearing his first real shoes soon! 

He loves to pull himself up on my hands and start walking.  At first he only walked backwards, but now he can go forward and turn himself to the side as well!  Mostly he just goes forwards or backwards though.  He used to bounce a lot when being supported, but it's all about walking or standing now.  He rolls everywhere, works on crawling sometimes, but mostly just rolls or pushes his butt up into the air with his feet so that he's in the up dog position from yoga.  It's so funny! 

His favorite foods seems to be banana and grains.  However I took out all gluten so now he's only eating rice grains like Brown Rice Pasta, Brown Rice Bread, and Chex.  I noticed he does much better with gluten free grains than glutenous grains.  Those caused major gas and constipation for him.  Gluten Free grains don't do that to him.  I will try wheat again when he's a year, maybe even again at 9 months, but in the mean time I'm not allowing them.  It's the same with dairy.  I'll try it when he's 9 months, if he has a problem with it then, I'll try again at 12 months.  For some reason I'm thinking he'll have a problem with it considering all the problems we've had with formula.  But I hope he won't have a problem with it.  Same with wheat/gluten.  I really don't want him to have all the allergies I have.  If he does at least I'll know how to handle it, but it would make me a little sad.  

He loves to talk and is very vocal.  Especially when upset.  He has formed some of the strangest syllable and constant combination's.    Joe and I always get a little awed over them.  Yesterday morning when he woke up he was laying on the bed as I put on my wool socks and sweater and out of the blue said "OK."  It was so cute!  He was just laying there holding his feet watching me with a smile.  It was like he was saying "OK lets go."  

He has 4 teeth in at the moment and 2 more are coming in.  The teeth in are the bottom front 2 and then the 2 front teeth that are on each side of the middle front teeth.  Does that make sense?  If you were to see him smile he'd look like he's missing his 2 front teeth because that space is still empty.  But they are coming in slowly.  I can see a bit of white on the right front spot and the other is swollen.  He's a trooper though.  He still sleeps pretty well at night, only wakes up 2 times while teething with the exception of the occasional 3 times that usually happen just before the teeth come through.  

Overall, I'm just completely amazed at how much he's grown and how his personality as developed.  He's my cutie patootie wild thing.  I've decided that for Halloween I want to dress him up as either Max or one of the Wild Things from Where the Wild Things Are!  He's been such a blessing, even when I'm completely tired and just wishing he'd go down for a nap (he fights them like they are evil).  But I'd never wish he wasn't around.

Here I was thinking that Evan was in 12 month clothing, only 12 month clothing.  Grant it Carters ran a bit big, but I figured it was because we got it on Clearance because it was an outlet store.  Everything else fit fine in 12 months.  Until today.  I put on a pair of Osh Kosh overalls and they were a bit short.  But this is 12 month clothing, it should fit!  It just barely did though.  So out of curiosity I pulled out our "Too Big Clothing" box and tried on a pair of 18 month khakis on him and while they were just a tad bit long, they fit.  I tried on a pair of 18 month Blues Clues overalls, they fit, and so on.  The only outfits that were too big were the 18 month Carters and the future sizes.  

Apparently my 6 month old son fits all 12 month and most 18 month clothing.  There is something so wrong about that.  In fact I think there is something so wrong about baby clothing sizing in general.  First off, all baby clothing makers should be in agreement on the sizing.  It is beyond annoying to buy a baby outfit at one store then find out it's too small or big when all the other clothing in that size fits fine.   My biggest request would be that they have different sizing in one size.  For example, 3-6 clothing would have 3-6 petite (especially in pants), then they'd have a small, medium and large.  That way if the baby is chunky they'd be able to fit 3-6 medium or large.  Or if the baby is very slender they'd have a petite option, that way pants would actually stay up. 

Or maybe they could just ditch the whole by age sizing.  I don't know how they'd size it though.  How many babies actually fit the age range they are in?  It's deceiving to inexperienced baby cloth shoppers and gives them the false security of thinking they got the right size.  Heck, I thought my son would fit 12 month clothing when he was actually 12 months.  I worked in a preschool too with all different ages and changed their clothing.  I just didn't pay attention to the size. I wish I had.  Maybe they could just have B for baby in front of the size.  For example: B0, B1 B2 B3, like they have T1 T2 T3. 

That just makes much more sense.  Then everyone would ask the mother what size their baby is in instead of assuming they fit the age they are in (this has never happened to me, I'm just thinking it may have happened to other families.  Thanks for always asking what size he's in!)  I doubt they'll change the system.  It's been like this for years.  But if they were to while I'm alive I'd be so impressed and happy for the future generations of baby cloth shoppers.

Last night I mentioned that we should tour the Evans Mills apartments in a week or 2 so that we know if it's a place we want to live in a couple years.  But out of the blue he said that he had been thinking of living on base next year.  I was so surprised.  He was adamantly apposed to living on base because squad leaders could check in whenever they wanted and a lack of privacy or being able to drive if the roads became black.  He wanted to live off base so that he would be away from work.  I agreed and so we lived off base and all was good until winter.  First it was wanting to live closer to base.  Then it was lets live on base.  The first desire was due to a snow storm and bad driving conditions.  The second was due to sliding off the road and having to come back and forth all the time.

Since I completely understand we'll be living on base next year.  Part of me is excited and part of me is not.  For one they'll take our entire BAH, but in return we'll get free internet and utilities.  That means I can have the heat at 75 during the winter if I want!  No more really cold houses at night because I can leave it at 68 if I want!  We'll also get free access to indoor and outdoor playgrounds and depending on the neighborhood a water park, skate park, etc.  But I'll be even closer to the military lifestyle....not sure what to think about that.  Obviously it's my option as to whether or not I want to participate in playgroups with them or interact with all of them.  Don't get me wrong, I'm sure there are some really nice military wives, however I'm not naive enough to think they all are great.  At some of the FRG meetings they seemed kind of sad and a few seemed really young.  But we were talking about the future deployment, that left me sad as well. 

So anyways, I'm excited about the heating prospect and I was thinking this means Joe could get a ride to work occasionally leaving me with the car during the day!  Easy access to gyms and playgrounds will be nice too.  Now lets hope I can talk him into getting a house or town house with a yard instead of an apartment.  For some strange reason he thinks 1.5 or 2 is too young for playing in a backyard. 

I usually go back to bed with Evan for his morning nap because that's a great way to catch up on sleep.  Well this morning I had the strangest saddest dream.  I dreamt my parents and I were going to an Infant Memorial Cemetery.  There were baby swings lined up in rows because that was what the hospital put out with the grave in memory (strange, I know).  Well I started walking up and down the aisles looking for Evans swing.  The thing is, that the hospital put out swings for babies that almost died too so it was never clear if Evan had almost died or did die.  Every so often it was like I wrote him into the dream because he would appear, then not disappear.  Well I eventually found the swing and there was a little sheep toy that you pull on and it jiggles back up.  I wanted to take it because I wanted to remember him, then it was that I wanted to remember how lucky I was that he survived.  Then I had to get back to him, but he wasn't there when I got to the spot.

So yeah, it was a strange sad dream.  I couldn't not imagine having him in my life, even on days I tired and praying my husband will get home early so he can give Evan a bath and I can get a break.  I can say that when I woke up I was so happy to see his face next to mine smiling as he wiggled about and tried to crawl.  I love him so much.

Most of you know that Baby Led Weaning is this fancy term used for parents who just give their baby table food when they are ready for solids.  Ready for solids doesn't mean it starts at 6 months, it means when they start grabbing food off your plate, eating it, and they can't be deterred.  There's even a book by that title out there talking about it, I've never read it though.  

We started out with homemade purees and it went well for a few weeks.  He enjoyed it and ate them all very well, especially carrots.  Then one day he suddenly refused to purees, was pushing them away and they were just flying everywhere.  Clearly he stopped liking them so I decided to see how he would do with fist sized table foods and he liked them!  He chewed away at the apple we had for breakfast, and then the soft potato at lunch, but he didn't touch the bell peppers.  Then today we had toast and apples and for lunch we'll have fried eggs and more potato.

I was really nervous about giving him toast because of my gluten intolerance, but delaying the food won't stop an allergy from forming.  So we'll go with slow introduction and I'll be watching him very closely today and every day I give him a bit of toast.  That's the only gluten he'll be getting since that's my husbands bread (mine is expensive) and our pasta and other foods in the house are gluten free.  I'll just take it slowly.  Same goes with dairy when I decide to offer it to him.

So here are a few pictures of Evan with plain Toast and Apples!


Oh, on a side note Joe won't be deploying until the first week of April!  He's part of the group that leaves a little later.  He go the official orders yesterday!  I couldn't be happier about that.

Every so often I find myself thinking of how drastically my life has changed since pregnancy.  The change wasn't so big when I was pregnant, but after I had him it was even more so.  While I enjoy being a mother, sometimes I feel like I do so little when I really do so much.  It's like I can get so much but so little done.  Most of my day is spent taking care of Evan, but sometimes I don't feel productive.  

Before I had him my day was spent working and counseling people.  While that job was very stressful at times and I sometimes just wanted to quit, it was something outside of the home that I got paid for.  I know there were many days I just felt so overwhelmed and my view of the world got so jaded that sometimes I just wanted to cry, but it was something that I saw progress in.  My clients often times were doing better by the end of a month or two. 

Maybe that's why I feel like I'm not so productive anymore.  I stay home pretty much every day and my day revolves around naps.  I don't do progress notes, I don't schedule clients, sit in sessions for 1 hour, and help a person understand their patterns in life anymore.  Instead I spend it catering to a 6 month old babies whims that involve helping him balance when he stands so he can jump up and down, sitting next to him so he can play but not interact (he likes to feel me next to him otherwise he gets fussy), putting him down for a nap, keeping him entertained so he actually finishes eating instead of continually snacking, and changing diapers.  Compared to being a therapist this is just so...different.  I would say insignificant but really what I do with him is significant.  It's setting up the basis for the rest of his life and helping him understand that I am there for him and willing to stick through what feels like incredibly mundane tasks.

Housework is also something I struggle to get done between short naps.  I used to finish it in a day with little interruption  When I look at what Joe does I feel really petty for getting annoyed over his lack of help.  He has such a demanding job and yet he still helps out when he can.  I look at my day and while it is emotionally draining on bad days, it's certainly not physically draining in addition to emotional drainage.  I know that what I do is very very important to my son, but it's just so different.  Sometimes I have to take a deep breath and remind myself why I chose to stay home with our son.  I love watching him grow and learn.  While it would be nice to have a second income, we are able to make it by every month.  Even though there are days I'd do almost anything for just 2 hours to myself, I know that on Saturdays Joe will get up with Evan so I can sleep in for a bit and that on Sundays I can go shopping alone.  Most importantly, when I feel like I am doing nothing all day I know that my son trusts that I am there for him and that I am doing my best to raise a physically and emotionally healthy child.  It may be really slow progress, slower than watching a client of mine gain insights on their mental process sometimes, but it is so worth it!

Now, I just need to remember that on discouraging days where I'm near to tears with a fussy baby and wishing I could pull my mom through the phone for help.  Yes, those days do happen now and again...they did just this past weak.

Evan seems to be very sensitive to feeling wet.  He was waking up at night fussy and while he would eat some, he just didn't sleep that well after he woke up.  So I decided to look into a diaper that kept him feeling dry at night.  After much research I decided I didn't want fleece and went for the suede material diapers and determined that Flip Stay Dry diapers were the cheapest.  After ordering a day pack I tried it out on him for one night.  We were able to use only one insert the entire night and he slept much better despite being all stuffed up!  He didn't wake up until 4 when he had previously been waking up as soon as 9, 10, or midnight.  That was an incredible improvement.

The best part about these diapers is that they are so trim!  He looks like he has a very durable disposable diaper under his clothing.  But that also means he won't have a bulky diaper to hold up his pants anymore.  Luckily he will be in 12 month clothing soon which means jeans and pants with belt loops and we got a dapper snapper to fix that.  It's like a belt but it only goes through the back of the pants so when he starts potty training he won't have to deal with a belt, it also makes it easier for me to change diapers.  He's such a skinny bean.

I liked these diaper so much I ordered 2 more day packs so in total we will have 6 diaper shells and 18 inserts.  I had thought of selling or lending my gro baby diapers to someone, but I was thinking it might be nice to have extra diapers in case something happens or he gets sick.  Since he's 6 months I don't feel a need to change his diaper nearly as often  as I did before (almost every 1.5 to 2 hours, he hated wet diapers).  I was thinking it would be so much more convenient do change them after a nap, so he'd be going 3 hours between changes.  That's not bad, right?  It's been programed into me to change him every 2 hours.  It's not like I'd always be sticking to it .  Obviously if he has a poopy diaper or is really wet I'd change him. 

So anyways, I've determined that synthetic fibers work the best for some babies, like ones who are very sensitive to wet diapers.  I used to want to avoid them because I thought they'd be harder to care for.  I'm glad he's sleeping better now. 

Just a short recap, Joe's car broke down twice.  We fixed it once, then it broke down again a few weeks later.  He's opted not to get it fixed at the moment because just repairing one thing won't cover all the other problems that still need to get fixed.  So my parents offered to ship out my car when I asked about it. 

Well after waiting a week and a half, dealing with two car rentals, and Joe having to stay on base so we could save some money, my car is here!  It came in yesterday and I was to pick it up at Wal-Mart.  At 9pm the driver called to let me know they would be there in an hour.  Unfortunately no one was here to watch the already fussy baby who has have a very bad night.  In fact when the driver called he had just started to go to sleep so of course the phone woke him.  At about 9:35 I got Evan dressed and into the car seat hoping he would stay asleep, but he did not.  He laid there happy to play with the car seat toys.  We arrived at Wal-Mart around 9:55 but the driver wasn't there so I called them and they said they'd just gotten off the freeway.  The person I got a ride with and I chatted and after not seeing the truck 30 minutes later I called and asked where they were and it turns out they were at the Wal-Mart in Evans Mills, which was 15 minutes away.  Evan was screaming and overtired so we put him back in the carseat only to have him scream even more.  The drive there was miserable.  I tried to console him but it didn't do much.  

When we got to that Wal-Mart the truck was visable and there was my car!  I was excited, I have to admitt that.  I missed having a good functioning car with great gas milage.  I go the paper work finished and found out the car was on empty.  So after loading Evan from one carseat to the strapped in one in my car I follwed the person I got a ride to a gas station only to find out it was closed.  Evan was screaming, I was tired, and so since the attendents were in there I knocked on the door and begged them to let me fill my car up with 20 dollars of gas because it was on empty and my son was screaming.  They allowed luckily and to my amazement that filled the car a quarter to full!  

Evan eventually fell asleep and we got home.  But he woke up when I pulled him out and just started screaming again.  It was loud and after a bit it became the scream of bloody murder.  I swear he thought the world was ending.  I finally got him to take a bottle and we went to bed around midnight only to have him wake up around 1:15 screaming again.  I finally put him on this back to suction out his stuffed nose and found out he was soaked up his back.  That was a first.  So I changed him and he just kept screaming so finally at 1:30 I crawled into a warm bath with him on me and he calmed down.  Skin to skin contact does wonders.  He eventually became a tired happy Evan and was kicking the foot that was in the water so we got out and went back down around 2 only to have him wake up at 5 because his nose was stuffy again.  Then again at 7.  7 was when the day started.  

Despite being completely exhausted I seemed to have summoned energy out of no where.  Evan went back down for a nap but I was too hungry to go down for one too.  I have to wash his bottles and put the laundry in the dryer so I can wash the bottom sheet and mattress cover that got wet when I laid him on his back.  I also have to go to Wal-Mart so I can get my tires filled and balanced (they're low) and get anti freeze windsheild wiper fluid put in, pick up a few grocceries, and grab some formula for Evan because we're getting low.  

I think I'll go to bed very early tonight.  At least I have my car though.  Joe will be thrilled since he'll be the one to drive it to work every day.

I sometimes feel like I'm a horrible mother. In fact I don't know any family out there that can say they never doubted their selves or looked back and wished they hadn't done anything different.

Lately I've been doubting myself over how I put Evan to sleep. To those who don't have kids yet they're probably going to roll their eyes and wonder why someone would even question how they put their child to sleep. Some would say "Just let them cry it out" others would say "Who cares?" But I care. I've already stated why I don't believe in crying it out so I won't go there again. Instead I'll go into why I'm stressing over it at the moment.

Evan is a big fan of not sleeping. He'll fight it and sometimes think he's had a nap after a 5 minute doze. He does need a nap though because if he doesn't get one nothing makes him happy when he's playing or awake. Everything sends him into tears, even the bath he loves so much. He is also in the middle of his 6 month growth spurt and so he's been extra sleepy which makes a very unhappy Evan because he hates to sleep. He wants to see everything, and I mean everything, even the minor details of a wall fascinates him.

Since he hates sleeping, putting him down for naps is a trial. The only way to get him to fall asleep is if I hold him. Once he's asleep I bring him to his room and put him in the crib. Only lately he will wake up on the way to the crib, hence the 5 minute nap and deciding he's ready to play. I'll try to get him to go to sleep in the crib but it's a battle to say the least and usually leaves me frustrated and storming out the room irritated he won't go back to sleep when he's clearly tired. He used to go back to sleep when I put him in the crib, but not anymore.

I'm starting to wonder if I'm babying him too much. He is a baby though, what's wrong with babying a baby? That's when the back of my mind kicks into full gear and all the unsolicited parenting advice I have received in the past comes forth. I remember all the "cry it out" advice, how important it is to train them now because otherwise it sets both of you up for a life long battle around sleep, and so on. With that comes all the Attachment Parenting advice of work with them now, they'll out grow it, babies can't manipulate they just know what they need, and the list goes on.  Personally I don't think babies know how to manipulate so I agree with that last one, but sometimes it feels like they do. 

It's really not helpful. I get two completely different streams of advice and it leaves me feeling unsure. My pediatrician says one thing, my friend says another, both my parents say something different.  It leaves me just stumped and telling myself to just trust what my gut says. Right now it says "it's not worth the struggle, just hold him until he's asleep and save yourself the energy." But what if it's just because I'm sleep deprived? What if it's showing me that I have no spine and will give into everything he wants? Last but not least, what if I someday I have sleep battles and regret listening to my overtired gut?

Really, I don't think it's because I have no spine. I know I can instill discipline. I've done it in a preschool and I do it now, like when he's fussing for no reason. I just look at him and say clearly Evan, No and he usually calms down. I know that I can get my son to fall asleep on the bed just fine without being held or a fight at the end of the day. However I do know that I'm tired and sometimes the idea of fighting him to sleep or waiting for him to fall asleep just don't appeal to me in the least. I tried laying him in the crib and letting him fall asleep on his own and after 30 minutes he was still going but getting progressively fussy. I finally rolled him to his side and held his hand until he fell asleep and he woke up tired from refusing to sleep.

So I guess that leaves me just working with Evan's stubborn personality and relying on the fact that someday it will be different. At least I'm working on him falling asleep somewhere other than on me. Besides, what's wrong with responding to a baby's needs? They won't remain one forever. At least I hope not.

Ever since I've had Evan my migraines have come more often.  Before I had him they only came when I ate soy and before I found out I was allergic to soy they came almost every month and sometimes more often.  However soy has been cut out of my diet for that very purpose.  So why have they returned?  I heard from my mom they are genetic and that they occur for other various reasons such as hormones so I'm going to assume it's because of hormones.  Either that or once my thyroid medication arrives with the much needed raise then maybe I will say goodbye to them once again.  Hopefully the medication will arrive this week, I was very pleased to hear that I was getting a raise because it was apparent I needed it.

Migraines are evil.  I feel cold and they suck all energy away into the mysterious black void that seems to come with it.  I get very cranky and even depressed when I get a migraine.  Especially if I can't take the nap I so desperately want to.  Or say I can take a nap but it's not nearly as long as I want.   For example today it only lasted 30 minutes because I knew Evan would wake up from his nap and there was no one else to take care of him, it wasn't a very restful nap.  On top of the black hole that comes with it I get nauseous and feel like there is a pick axe digging away or a sledge hammer pounding on the side the migraine hits, typically the left side.  Combine all of that and you get the wonderful recipe for a very cranky and slightly uninvolved mommy.  I felt so guilty I let him take his last nap on me because I was interacting on a very minimal basis.

Luckily there is Excedrin, I love excedrin.  It kicked in after 15 minutes relieving the pain.  The nausea lingered but the pain was gone.  

So yes, that's a migraine for those who haven't experienced one.  If you haven't had one celebrate, it's really not the least bit fun. 

Evan has started crawling today.  It's not a full on crawl, but a push with legs and sometimes a pull with the arms after.  It gets around though.  It's amazing how fast this happens.  It all starts with rolling.  Once he started rolling both ways he started sitting supported, then unsupported, and then pulling with his arms, then pushing with legs, and now it's both. 

In some ways it's sad to see him grow so fast.  Part of me wants to hang onto him and keep him small.  At the same time though, I love seeing him learn and grow!  I miss the newborn days sometimes, not the sleep deprivation part, but the newness of everything and how tiny they are and how much they sleep.  

So a big YAY for Evan and his new milestone!

01. What did you do in 2009 that you'd never done before?
Agreed to let my husband join the army and finished off the pregnancy without him.

02. Did you keep your new years' resolutions, and will you make more for next year?
I didn't make any.  But this year I made a few to help keep me on top

03. Did someone close to you give birth?
Yes, my second half Andrea #2

04. Did anyone close to you die?
Yes

05. What countries did you visit?
The amazing country of USA!!  LOL!

06. What would you like to have in 2010 that you lacked in 2009?
Trust that things will turn out fine with the war

07. What date from 2009 will remain etched upon your memory, and why?
July 11.  Take a wild guess, it involves Evan.

08. What was your biggest achievement(s) of the year?
Carring a baby 9 months and then giving birth, then parenting.

09. What was your biggest failure(s)?
I don't consider this a failure, but we didn't succeed at breastfeeding.  I still wish I had tried harder sometimes and am bent on successfully nursing the next one.  Formula is expensive.

10. Did you suffer illness or injury?
No...not anything major.

11. What was the best thing you bought?
Hmmm....not sure.  Food I craved maybe?

12. Whose behavior merited celebration?
My hubby's!!  He finished boot camp and advanced training and PT etc.

13. Whose behavior made you appalled and depressed?
I can think of a few, but no reason to bring it up again.

14. Where did most of your money go?
The parallel universe of car repairs, rent, baby supplies, food etc.

15. What did you get really, really, really excited about?
Evan being cute, reaching milestones, smiling, laughing, sitting and flapping his arms, all things Evan!  Oh, and seeing my husband after a long day.

16. What songs will always remind you of 2009?
Muse, all Muse.

17. Compared to this time last year, are you
i. happier or sadder? Happier
ii. thinner or fatter? Thinner more or less, but I have hips now.
iii. richer or poorer? A little bit more well off, but so much happier.

18. What do you wish you'd done more of?
Relaxed and reveled in the moment.

19. What do you wish you'd done less of?
Stress, spending time on the computer.

20. How did you spend Christmas?
With my husband and family eating good food.

21. Did you fall in love in 2009?
So totally head over heals.

22. How many one-night stands?
Gee.... well their was Bob, Steve, and Billy, all live under my bed...Well Joe has some crazy ones under his side...LOL!

24. What was your favorite TV program?
Lost!

25. Do you hate anyone now that you didn't hate this time last year?
No, I don't really hate anyone.

26. What was the best book you read?
City of Bones series.

27. What was your greatest musical discovery?
Rediscovering Mozart and Enya, both put Evan to sleep.

28. What did you want and get?
Evan!

29. What did you want and not get?
My husband finding a career that did NOT involve a year separation in a far Eastern Country

30. Favorite film of this year?
Not sure.

31. What did you do on your birthday, and how old were you?
I turned 28 and celebrated part of it early with my family and got a good book, pizza, and brownies.  Then celebrated it with Joe and he left a small present every day that included candles and then my much wanted Tea Pot.

32.What one thing would have made your year immeasurably more satisfying?
Having more friends in Watertown or the surrounding area would be nice.  In fact, having a friend out here in general would be really nice, I get lonely for adult contact.  Also, a car would be really nice as well, one that my husband isn't using during the week.

33. How would you describe your personal fashion concept in 2009?
Casual like always.

34. What kept you sane?
Baths and good books.  Finding a moment to write. 

35. Which celebrity/public figure did you fancy the most?
None

36. What political issue stirred you the most?
The idea of the war Obama has.  It's very much like Bush.

37. Who did you miss?
Lots of people.

38. Who was the best new person you met?
The Church Members.  Especially the one that just had her baby.  I can't remember names very well.

39. Tell us a valuable life lesson you learned in 2009:
That it's ok to have pain meds during labor if it helps relaxes you or lowers your blood presure or speeds up labor or all three of the above.  You can still feel it with the pain meds anyways.

40. Quote a song lyric that sums up your year:

I can't find the words to say,
But they're overdue,
I've traveled half the world to say,
I belong to you

My Livejournal has been more of an update on how I or my family am doing.  All my posts get sent to my facebook for others to read as well.  But since I like to write and sometimes prefer writing more serious thoughts or other things that are unrelated to how I or my family are doing I've decided to revive an unused blogspot that is called The Quill.    Also, this way if I post almost every day or every other day it won't get all sent to facebook.

So if you feel like reading things I think or other random ideas feel free to check out The Quill!  There is already a post.

I've decided to actually a few goals.

1.  Stick to cleaning schedule on Fridge
2.  Balance Check book every other day
3.  Start Packing

So that's it!  Otherwise I will work on what I normally do, patience, being a mom, and so on.  Those are just the areas I have the hardest time with.  I would include cooking too, but I'm not so motivated with that at the moment.  I do a pretty decent job cooking what we have and extending that on occasion.  Joe normally eats at work anyways so what I cook is usually just for me. 

I'm in a bit of a funk right now.  I'm tired and have an annoying cold.  I finally got it to decongest and feel 10x better, but I'm still tired and hungry too.  I just got hungry, perhaps I should get a snack.  Joe is taking care of Evan right now so it's a nice break.  Anyways, not much else.  Yeah, perhaps I should sleep some more.

It all started with a realization they made an off brand of Similac at Walmart called Parents Choice Sensitivity.  I researched it and apparently lots of babies tolerated it just the same as Similac Sensitive and it was almost identical to Similac, only it didn't have sucrose.  So I decided to buy it and see how it went because it was 9 dollars cheaper, who wouldn't want a deal like that?  I mean really, I shell out around 80 dollars a month on formula that my son can tolerate.

Well it all went swimingly until The Night of Little to No Sleep.   He was up every hour just crying and crying and I had no idea what it was.  I gave him tylenol twice (4 hours apart) and it didn't do a thing.  So I figured it wasn't teething, but then maybe it was an ear infection.  I did see him pull at his ear, but he had no fever except a mild one just before he went to bed, but he had really been fighting sleep so I don't know if it was a fever or just him being warm from fighting sleep.  Finally at 1:30 I called my parents desparate because I didn't know what was going on (it was 10:30 there) and they suggested that not all ear infections have a fever or that it could be a tummy ache from changing formulas and to give him a bath and bring him in to the pediatrician.  Well the bath fixed things, he calmed down for the most part.  We gave him a bottle of just similac and Joe stayed up with him until he went to sleep (he had gotten more sleep than I had at that point).  Later he came in with Evan and said that it was most likely a tummy ache because he only slept well on his left side.  He was also passing some really stinky gas.  It smelled like the formula.  He wasn't running anymore fevers or pulling at his ear this morning and seemed all good again.  He slept a good period of time at that point too.  So, I concluded it was the formula.

But when thinking about it, he hadn't been sleeping as well the few nights before.  I just assumed it was him trying to reach milestones in his sleep (not the first time).  I also figured it was the growth spurt and he was waking up hungry because he would eat the whole bottle.  So yeah, maybe it was the formula.

So here's my Wild Theory:  Similac is storing something in there formula that causes a baby to react to the offending new formula.  Once it becomes more of the new formula like Parents Choice than Similac it will cause the baby to have a tummy ache and thus send the parents back to Similac.  Crazy huh?  Well he seemed to be fine when it was only 1 scoop of Parents Choice and 3 of Similac, but when it was 2 scoops to 2 scoops he got fussy.  Or maybe Evan just really has that sensitive of a tummy and will react to formulas that are similar, but not the same.  Or he's addicted to sucrose....I doubt it though.

In the mean time, we'll take a break from solids today and I'll continue to observe him and see how he does.  He seems fine right now.  Normal energy and all, just a bit tired since he didn't sleep much last night. 

So, if ANYONE has Similac Coupons they do NOT need, please send them to me.  I would really really appreciate that.  I don't think buying them off Ebay will help at all because the cost is always the same for the coupon amount or just a little less.

I can't believe Christmas is coming up on Friday, it's so strange how this month, or even this year, has flown by so fast. It feels like it should only be the start of December. But it's not. Things are going very well here. Joe is on block leave and doesn't have to be back until the 3rd of January. It'll be nice to have him home and helping out. We'll be switching days on getting up early with Evan. Joe's turn is tomorrow. Evan loves being up by 5:30. He'll wake up at least once at some really early hour and try to roll over, I'll pull him on me and put him back to sleep, then he'll be up at 5:15 or so and start trying to roll over onto his back again. This morning he succeeded. One morning I woke up around 5 and realized I had fallen asleep with Evan on me. He was out of course and seemed to really like sleeping on me. I generally don't allow that.

( A Nice Long Update )

Joe and I have been talking about this and we have both officially decided that we will pack up our house and store the furniture out here in some storage unit before he deploys. I will then move to CA to be with my family. Originally I was thinking we could just keep our apartment and I'd turn off gas and electricity, but this way we could save a ton of money during that year. I would then come out in February I think, or sometime before he gets back, get another apartment closer to base but not on base (he's bent on not having one on base and I'm fine with that) and move things back in.

Honestly, I'm not thrilled about packing and moving. I hate packing, or just in general moving. I have seriously thought of just staying out here, but I don't have very many friends or any family out here. I'd rather be closer to my family for that, especially since it will be a year long deployment and I would be parenting Evan alone out here. But it will save so much money. But on the good side of all of this, the church offered to help with moving if we need it. I fully plan on taking them up on that offer when it comes to moving everything into the uhaul and into storage.

Outside of that, apparently the Drive Shaft on Joe's car cracked and that's why it's not working. He's thinking of possibly fixing it, but that's not the only thing on his car that has been breaking down. So my car will hopefully be here before Christmas and he can use that. In the mean time we're renting a car. He really likes it too.

So anyways, that's it. Evan is doing good as usual but now throws tantrums before naps because even though he's exhausted he wants to stay up all day. He fully pushes himself up on his arms now (the whole arm is straight) and has even pulled himself forward a little bit. He can sit very well, but would rather be rolling about on the floor. I don't blame him at all. It would be much more fun to be in a position that allows you to move freely, kick your legs like crazy, and roll over!

I've finally made a decision regarding vaxes. At first it was going to be selective and delayed, but after the DTAP and Polio Evan got, I really began to reconsider it. He was fussy, didn't want to eat much, and after a 10 hour sleep he woke up with a dry, or only slightly damp diaper. That was really really unusual. The only time he had diapers like that was when we were trying to breastfeed (that's why I stopped, he wasn't getting much). So I researched it some more and have decided not to vax any more.

Before you challenge me, you have to watch the video series Here. You want the Vaccines: The Risks, The Benefits, The Choices.There are 18 videos that are 10 minutes each that start with a history of vaxes regarding Small Pox. Then they go into all the vaccines children get, what they are, what the disease is, and the history and how it can or is treated as well as how effective they are. This is honestly the most comprehensive and informed research I have seen. If you don't want to watch it from the start, at least watch it from Here, that's where they start the discussion on childhood vaxes. Two of the videos stop working around 6 minutes in. I know one is video 16, the other is somewhere in the beginning.

To clarify, this is not over a fear of Autism. It has to do with the effectiviness of the vaccines, how high the dose is, the side effects that range from just mild to severe, and the diseases current status,which really isn't that high. When was the last time you heard of a major Diptheria break out? How about Tetanus? Or Rueball? Mumps? And no, it's not just because of the vaccines, there are multiple other reasons including improvement in health care and the sanitary measures we now take, like washing hands. So anyways, watch the videos if you're interested but you can't argue with me until you watch them!

We woke up this morning to snowy weather. It seemed fine at first and I thought maybe the wind wouldn't hit. But I was wrong, it is now beyond windy outside. I can hear the snow flying against the window and there is snow blowing off roof tops and landing on other roof tops. Drifts are going everywhere and apparently later today it's supposed to turn into a "wintery mix" or in other words sleet. It seems a lot of the schools were delayed today and even a few were closed. This morning it was beyond cold in the house, but it has since warmed up some. I hope Joe is staying warm.

The people across the street from me are moving today and I feel sorry for them with this weather. At least they aren't loading things at the moment and they have movers to help. I wonder if they are moving to a different place in town or were sent to a new base. Lots of people move here and that always makes me wonder what will happen for us. I hope we don't move to the south though, I've never really cared for it. While it would be interesting, I certainly wouldn't want to stay there for long. However when I refer to the south I do not mean Florida, I mean Tennessee, South Carolina, etc. Florida seems to me to be similar to California, only humid with a slightly more eclectic mix of people.

Anyways, Evan rolled on purpose yesterday! Today he was trying to do it again only he couldn't get it quite right so he was making little frustrated cries. It's cute to watch him grow. That's it!